Twirling Skirts

Competition... rivalry between two or more persons or groups for an object desired in common, usually resulting in a victor and a loser but not necessarily involving the destruction of the latter.


As I was talking to a group of high school girls recently, I heard a really great story.  Two of the girls were telling me how they had known each other for years and had grown up in church together.  They both giggled as they shared with me the beginnings of their friendship.  You see, it had not always been as jovial as it was on this night.  Their relationship began with a competition as to whose dress would flare the most while twirling at church on Sunday morning.  As the story went, the twirl effect got magnified every week as each one wanted to have the "twirliest" dress.  We laughed and had a wonderful time with the story and how they were now the best of friends once that silly competition subsided.  As I listened and laughed, my heart also broke.  My heart broke because of all of the women who I have known and do know who are unable to get off the competition highway and stroll down the sidewalk of friendship and encouragement.  You and I alike see these women every day.  She is in our churches, in our schools, in our gyms, in our grocery stores and even in our own homes. Unfortunately, on many days, she is in the mirror looking back at us.    


This topic is especially heavy on my heart today as I consider the many women I see day in and day out who are competing in a "Best Christian Mom" contest that no one is even holding.  There are many a contest in this "competition" that these women think that they are in.  These contests range anywhere from how many meals she cooks at home to how many hours she volunteers.  The contest that is most troubling to me is the contest as to who is doing "the right thing" in educating her children.  As I have shared before, I have had the amazing opportunity to home school my children as well as put them in public school for their high school years.  Let me not forget, there was a two year stint of Christian school for one of my children as well.  Because of these experiences and my role as a pastor's wife, I am especially keen to this "best educator" contest that sets women on the unhealthy highway of competition that is robbing them of great friendship opportunities.


This highway of competition runs both ways.  One set of mothers believes they deserve to win the title of "Best Christian Mom" because their kids are protected from the world while another set of  mothers expects to win the title because their children are being a "light in the world" where others fear to go.  My dear friends, this competition is hurting Christian women and the testimony of God's church and we need to put it away.  If we look at the true calling that God has put on our lives as mothers, it is to make disciples.  We are to love and train our children in the ways of the Lord.  How this is lived out is totally individual.  The beautiful thing about being in Christ is that we live by grace exercising the wisdom that the Lord so freely gives to those who ask.  This frees every mother to "do her own thing" as the Lord leads.  I cannot tell you all of the reasons why women choose the education they do for their children, but what I can tell you is that in my 16 years of full time ministry and my 12 years of home schooling, I have never met a mother that did not believe that what she was doing was what God had called her to do.  This "Best Christian Mom" contest needs to be put away so that all Christian moms can encourage one another as we build up our children to play on the same team for the Kingdom of God.  


If you look back up to the definition of competition at the start of this blog you will see that in a competition there is a winner and a loser.  My dear friends, we should not long that any woman be a loser.  I especially like the end of that definition: "but not necessarily involving the destruction" of the loser.  We would all say the same thing, but in reality, we are causing destruction for the testimony of God's love and grace when we live in this competition.  As I read scripture, we are to spur one another on toward love and goods deeds and to not grow weary in doing good, especially to those in the family of God. 


Let me encourage you today to get off of the super highway of competition and enjoy the amazing joy of strolling along the sidewalk of friendship with other women.  No matter how big and beautiful our twirling skirts may be, they will never measure up to the joy of friendship.


Walking in His Grace,
Diane