Thursday, March 22, 2012

Twirling Skirts

Competition... rivalry between two or more persons or groups for an object desired in common, usually resulting in victor and a loser but not necessarily involving the destruction of the latter.


As I was talking to a group of high school girls recently, I heard a really great story.  Two of the girls were telling me how they had known each other for years and had grown up in church together.  They both giggled as they shared with me the beginnings of their friendship.  You see, it had not always been as jovial as it was on this night.  Their relationship began with a competition as to whose dress would flare the most while twirling at church on Sunday morning.  As the story went, the twirl effect got magnified every week as each one wanted to have the "twirliest" dress.  We laughed and had a wonderful time with the story and how they were now the best of friends once that silly competition subsided.  As I listened and laughed, my heart also broke.  My heart broke because of all of the women who I have known and do know who are unable to get off the competition highway and stroll down the sidewalk of friendship and encouragement.  You and I alike see these women every day.  She is in our churches, in our schools, in our gyms, in our grocery stores and even in our own homes. Unfortunately, on many days, she is in the mirror looking back at us.    


This topic is especially heavy on my heart today as I consider the many women I see day in and day out who are competing in a "Best Christian Mom" contest that no one is even holding.  There are many a contest in this "competition" that these women think that they are in.  These contests range anywhere from how many meals she cooks at home to how many hours she volunteers.  The contest that is most troubling to me is the contest as to who is doing "the right thing" in educating her children.  As I have shared before, I have had the amazing opportunity to home school my children as well as put them in public school for their high school years.  Let me not forget, there was a two year stint of Christian school for one of my children as well.  Because of these experiences and my role as a pastor's wife, I am especially keen to this "best educator" contest that sets women on the unhealthy highway of competition that is robbing them of great friendship opportunities.


This highway of competition runs both ways.  One set of mothers believes they deserve to win the title of "Best Christian Mom" because their kids are protected from the world while another set of  mothers expects to win the title because their children are being a "light in the world" where others fear to go.  My dear friends, this competition is hurting Christian women and the testimony of God's church and we need to put it away.  If we look at the true calling that God has put on our lives as mothers, it is to make disciples.  We are to love and train our children in the ways of the Lord.  How this is lived out is totally individual.  The beautiful thing about being in Christ is that we live by grace exercising the wisdom that the Lord so freely gives to those who ask.  This frees every mother to "do her own thing" as the Lord leads.  I cannot tell you all of the reasons why women choose the education they do for their children, but what I can tell you is that in my 16 years of full time ministry and my 12 years of home schooling, I have never met a mother that did not believe that what she was doing was what God had called her to do.  This "Best Christian Mom" contest needs to be put away so that all Christian moms can encourage one another as we build up our children to play on the same team for the Kingdom of God.  


If you look back up to the definition of competition at the start of this blog you will see that in a competition there is a winner and a loser.  My dear friends, we should not long that any woman be a loser.  I especially like the end of that definition: "but not necessarily involving the destruction" of the loser.  We would all say the same thing, but in reality, we are causing destruction for the testimony of God's love and grace when we live in this competition.  As I read scripture, we are to spur one another on toward love and goods deeds and to not grow weary in doing good, especially to those in the family of God. 


Let me encourage you today to get off of the super highway of competition and enjoy the amazing joy of strolling along the sidewalk of friendship with other women.  No matter how big and beautiful our twirling skirts may be, they will never measure up to the joy of friendship.


Walking in His Grace,
Diane



Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Finally!

After much encouragement from my husband, I am embarking on this not so new world of blogging.  I have pondered as to why he has encouraged me to blog and I would love to think that it is because of the vast resources of great wisdom and entertainment I have to offer but the reality most likely revolves around the hope that if I get all of my thoughts out on my blog he will get to sleep a bit earlier every night.  He also may just want me to quit waking up every other day or so with another post he should put on his blog.

In reality, he knows that I dream of one day writing "for real" and knows that this is a good spring board for me.  We have been married for twenty years and I am sure that he has heard at least once a month in those twenty years about a new book, magazine article or op-ed that I am going to write and wants me to "just do it."

Funny thing...the main reason I have not started this blog is because I had no idea what to name it and even fewer ideas about how it should look.  You would think my longing to write would include such simple creativity but it does not.  By way of introducing myself, I will share with you some of the suggested titles:

Mrs. Pastor's Wife-Yes, I am the wife of a pastor and have been for 16 years.
Diane's Delights-This was suggested so that I would share recipes as well for I do love to cook and bake.
The Recovering Home Schooler-I home schooled my three children up through 8th grade and shoved them off to "real" school for the joys of public high school. (this could also say "recovering control freak" because we all know that home school moms might have a bit of a control issue)
Diane's Door Buster-This name was given by my 16 year old son with the explanation that when I "go off" I just break down all of the barriers and tell it like it is.
Here Again?-This was my own thought as I realize that when raising kids you often say to yourself "this again" and when you move to a new place you say things like "here too?" and when the Lord takes you to a new ministry you say "not again and here too?"

Truth is, I am starting this blog because I am a happily married mother of three teenagers who loves to talk, read, teach, encourage, and maybe share an opinion or two.  So, if you have received an invite I somehow think you are connected to my life and might want to hear an opinion or two or some encouragement or some strange thing that has happened in our crazy life that might make you laugh.  Catch you again soon!

Walking in His Amazing Grace,
Diane