Inside Out

I have been so excited to take a breather, sit down on the patio on a cool morning and blog about all of the amazing things in my life.  The past month has been amazing and plum full of blessings to blog about for the glory of our wonderful God.  As I was making these plans, today happened.

When I first introduced my blog, I mentioned it would be multifaceted...devotional, personal, reflective and sometimes a little "rant."  Well, today will be one of those "rant" days.  I will start this "rant" with a question..."what are we doing to our girls?"

As my daughter and I got out of the pool from swimming a few laps today, we happed upon a very disturbing scene in the locker room.  Standing in front of the scale were three young middle school girls dressed in tiny bikinis.  As we walked past and began to open our locker we heard gasps of shock and dismay behind us.  Looking to see what the exasperation was about, my eyes fell upon the three girls each weighing herself on the scale.

This scene was disturbing on many levels.  The very first level being that of the desire of "sex appeal" at the age of these young girls.  Of course, this did come as a total surprise, as we had just seen a 6-7 year old girl with a padded swimsuit to make her look about 14.  My heart was so sad because the comments these girls were making about their appearance were things that only girls thinking about impressing a boy for sexual reasons would be saying.  This scene was disturbing on another level, that of size.  As I looked at them and listened as they spoke about their bodies, they began to talk about where they needed to lose unwanted weight, where they needed to tighten up and where they needed to increase in size.  Seriously?  I could see the backbone and hip bones of at least one and could easily put one hand around each of their thighs.

What in the world is going on that this is the life that young middle school girls are living?  I know there are serious and real concerns with true eating disorders, but I am simply talking about what "we" as a collective society are doing to our young girls?  This type of mentality does not just "happen."  The first culprit we are all quick to point at is the "media."  It must be those shows they watch, those books they read, those magazines they subscribe to, those songs they listen to, those videos they enjoy...and the blame list goes on.  Let me just tell you, it is not the fault of the media, it is the fault of those in the lives of young girls today.  Whether it be the mothers who are sold out to the "body image is everything" life, the best friend who encourages the dysfunction, the dad who is absent or indulges in pornography in the home, or the church who does not teach identity in Christ, it is "our" fault.  We MUST, as parents, friends, family, teachers, counselors, friends, church family, etc., take a stand and let girls know that they must live from the inside out and not the outside in.  We have to be the ones to stand up and tell them that the beauty of the body fades but the lasting heart of godly woman is what sustains through the years.  And about that media, the "WE" mentioned here controls the media to which our girls are exposed.  Perhaps if we would encourage our girls to turn off "Pretty Little Liars" and put down "Cosmo Teen" it would be a first start to helping this generation.

Swimming Pools and Hot Tubs

As I relaxed on my lounge chair ready to take in some much needed sunshine and relaxation recently,  I was confronted by the vast changes that sweep through life.  My first thought as I lay there took me back to the joy that I found years ago in Albuquerque, NM laying by the pool.  One of the great gifts that the Lord gave me while home schooling my three children was the joy of a gym membership with an amazing outdoor pool.  One of my favorite activities was laying in the sun listening to my three kids laugh and play in the pool while enjoying an occasional splash to cool me off.

As with any time of reminiscing, I had to fight off the temptation to lament the loss of the past.  Rather than get melancholy over the past, the Lord was quick to remind me that He has given me good gifts today, just as He did then.  That is what is so amazing about our God, he knows where we are, what we need and when we need it.  Just like our lives grow and change, so do the tangible gifts the Lord gives His children.  Right now, I don't need a gym with a swimming pool during the day.  You see, my kids are no longer with me daily at home school but are often up late with me after a long day in public school.  Because of this, in His great kindness, the Lord has given me a hot tub where, for some strange reason, teenagers will open up and talk like no where else.  One of my greatest blessings today is that coveted invite to the hot tub with my three teenagers to hear what is in their hearts and on their minds.

No matter where you are today, the Lord has good gifts for you.  Whether you are an empty nester who longs for the busy days of chaod or a single girl wondering when your mate will come along, the Lord has gifts just perfect for you today.  I pray today that you will take time to look for the gifts that the Lord has given you for this particular season of your life.  Even is life is very different today than yesterday, or even very different than you had planned, look for the gifts, they are there!

Blessings,
Diane

Snapshots

One day last week my husband looked at me and said, "If you looked at our life today you would think that we had it all!"  I laughed and said, "If only that were so."

This small conversation sparked a thought in me...life is made up of snapshots.  My mind instantly wandered back to the day of film cameras.  The days when you would send your film to a developer and wait with anticipation to see how many pictures turned out and how good the "good" pictures would be.   Inevitably, you would get the stellar shots of memorable moments accompanied by the few that were totally invaluable.  After enjoying the amazing shots, it would be time to evaluate the reason for the bad pictures.  Be it the flash cube was used up or the taker's finger was in the way, there was value in learning how to avoid this the next time around.

The snapshots of life are much the same, some are amazing and some are not so amazing. There are the amazing snapshots that come when days are good.  The day that you are engaged to the love of your life.  The day you are able to make your child's dream come true.  The day that you land your first job that pays more than gas and insurance payments to mom and dad.  The day that you see an old friend coming off of the airplane for a visit.  You know these well.  These are the days that you find yourself saying that familiar saying,"If only this day could last forever!"  On the other hand, there are the snapshots in life that you never want to revisit.  The day you hear the diagnosis of a terminal illness.  The day you lose a loved one to a tragic accident.  The day that you lose your business and walk into the attorney's office to file for bankruptcy.  Maybe is is simply the day that nothing you touch seems to work out.

Just like pictures, we need to learn to enjoy the great snapshots of life while adjusting to the lessons learned from the undesirable snapshots. The great moments are to be cherished and enjoyed but not worshipped and set up to be the litmus test for all of the days of life.  If you think back before the day of digital cameras, we took snapshots of what we deemed to be the best and most important moments of life.  We would look back at them with fondness while continuing to look to another day in the future where pictures would be taken.  What a joy it is when we learn to love the best snapshots of life while not being disappointed that everyday is not a "best snapshot" kind of day!  The undesirable snapshot days are a bit harder to deal with.  In these moments, it is valuable to learn what the Lord is teaching in the moment and move forward in faith not expecting all days to be so tough.  God has given us the great ability to gain wisdom and perspective through the trials of life.  Scripture reminds me that it is through these trials that the Lord is refining in me character that leads to perseverance and hope.  Let me just say, it is good to learn from the bad snapshots in a timely manner.  We have an entire three week vacation worth of pictures with Dad's finger blocking a portion of the lens that we can never get back.  So it is in life.  If you don't grow and learn from your trials, you will spend much of life losing opportunities for joy that come from the discipline of growing in wisdom and grace.

The saying often heard in our house is this...you are never as good as your best performance and never as bad as your worst.  So it goes with these snapshots of life.  Our life is never as full and celebratory as the best snapshot but nor is it as bad as the worst snapshot.  Thinking on this has encouraged me to take time today to thank the Lord for those amazing snapshots of His marvelous gifts as well as for the trials that have made me the person that I am today.  I encourage you to do the same!

Blessings, Diane

Zero Tolerance for Character and Common Sense

Seriously?  That is the nicest way to put what is happening in the new police state in which we are raising kids in America.

"I have never lived in a world where adults didn't trust kids."  This is my favorite line from the movie Mean Girls for it sums up the plight of public schools in America "to a tee."  We have come to a point in life in America where we have lost all connection to relationship and common sense to the point of prison for the free and freedom for the convicted.

Case in point...
Yesterday, two kids that I have been very close with since birth experienced this great new America in a real way.  For protection of the accused we will use the names P1, P2 and P3 for the students in the story and A1 and A2 for the adults in the story.  P3 is heading to PE class with a splitting sinus headache and sees her brother, P1 heading to the parking lot to attend his internship periods with his pastor.  She stops him and relates that she has a headache and he proceeds to find a way to get her a couple of Advil to take for her headache.  This is quite a challenge with our new zero tolerance world.  It takes a bit of work to head to the car, search through P2's bat bag where there may be some hidden Advil due to a previous injury at baseball.  Just a side note...we allowed him to put this in his bat bag after being at an out of town baseball game where a teammate was hit in the face with a baseball and no one had a stitch of anything to calm the swelling until parents arrived some time after the incident.  So...back to school.  P3 leans over the fountain and takes a couple of Advil in complete view of the security camera.  Not a minute later, A1 arrives at the water fountain with accusations of illegal drug use and drug dealing on campus along with a form for a four day out of school suspension for both P1 and P3. P1 has left the scene of what he did not know was a crime and P3 is alone.  Of course, P3 being a young lady of high character and integrity gets immediately sick to her stomach, weak in the knees and teary eyed wondering how she has suddenly become a drug dealer and user all in thirty seconds.  As A1 is reading P3 the riot act A2, knowing the character of both P1 and P3 and being a seasoned teacher, walks up and steps up to the plate and quells the craziness.  P3 heads on to class 15 minutes late where she gets to enjoy the company of the boys who truly do use and deal with no consequence.

Now lets think about this...would a brother and sister who are using and dealing drugs use the water fountain by the security camera to do such activity? (common sense) Does A1 really think that every student in that school doesn't know where every security camera is in the building? (common sense) Maybe we don't realize that the reason students are smoking their weed and having sex in the bathrooms is because that is where there cannot be security cameras. (common sense)  Does the 2 years of stellar character and grades and honest communication with administrators not account for an innocent until proven guilty assumption? (character)  Does the fact that you take the pills in the gym hallway full of students, coaches and teachers not say there is nothing to hide? (character)

P1, P2 and P3 have not been trained to live in a world where "adults don't trust children" just like the main character in Mean Girls.  They have been raised to live by the spirit of the law over the letter of the law.  This means that they not only keep the rules but also understand that rules have greater implications than obedience.  The spirit of the law to them might mean that 2 Advil from an Advil bottle in full view of all would not be considered "drug use on school grounds."  This is apparently a huge problem in zero tolerance America.

Now, lest you think that I do not agree with policies at school for the protection of our children, that is not the case.  What concerns me in this world is the "zero tolerance."  This is the clause that gets children with a plastic fork suspended from grade school, the boy with a sword from an extracurricular activity in his trunk because he forgot to take it out before heading to school barred from walking his graduation and P1 and P3 threatened with a four day suspension.

I am sure I could go on and on about this, but I must make certain the school gets a call for the absence of P3 from school today.  P1 and P2 are not allowed to take a signed note stating the absence of a sibling for calls by an adult are the only acceptable communication for absences.  You know, a friend would certainly be less likely to call and act like a parent rather than send a signed note, don't you think?  Oh, no, that would fall under common sense thinking again.

Laughing at the craziness,
Diane

White Lines and Legacies

I love to travel and see new places and meet new people! Last week I had the opportunity to do just that. My husband was asked to preach a funeral service of a dear friend up in South Dakota. This beautiful service was held in a small 100 year old country church out in the middle of farm land about fifty miles from any sizable town. The area residents are mostly pure blood Swedes who are just as beautiful as the setting of the church itself. While enjoying the beauty of the people and setting, I was once again reminded of the scope of influence that a single life always has on the people it touches.


Cliches about such influence abound; one being "no man is an island." Cliches aside, it is very true that the life each of us lives makes an impact on those in our scope of influence. While at this funeral, it was amazing to hear family member after family member stand and speak to the impact that this departed lady had on their lives. Around the tables after the funeral, eating a typical Midwestern funeral meal of ham sandwiches, friends and neighbors shared stories of impact as well. The greatest part of the experience was not the number who shared, but the commonality of what they shared. Each person who told a story would always mention this sweet lady's faith in the Lord. This dear saint had spent her life living in obedience and love to a Savior who changed her life. The love that was in her heart for Jesus Christ was shared with everyone that she met.

On the long trip home, rather than counting the white lines like I did when I was a kid, I began to reflect upon my legacy. Realizing each of us leaves a legacy is a very sobering thought. Not sobering in a negative sense, simply in the gravity of the importance of what we pass on to our children and grandchildren through the life that we live. While thinking about this concept, my mind went to the part in the Bible where Moses brings the Ten Commandments to the children of Israel and shares with them what the Lord desires. In the fifth chapter of Deuteronomy we read:


"You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments."


This passage is amazing when it comes to the idea of legacy. Our life, whether it be a life of idolatry and sin or of obedience and love, will impact generations in our families. When this passage remarks on the sin of the fathers visiting down the generations, it is reminding us that our sin can create patterns of behavior and sin consequences that our children will carry with them long after we are gone. Scripture assures us that children are not responsible for the sin of their parents nor condemned because of their sin, but they are certainly impacted by it. Scripture promises that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation, but this does not negate the effect that sin has on the lives of everyone touched by its ugliness. On the other hand is the great news that the blessing of obedience also has generational impact. The joy and blessing of obedience reigns down on the children and grandchildren of those who are obedient. What a beautiful picture it is when this passages speaks of the overflowing blessing of the beautiful and incomparable mercy that the Lord pours out upon those who in the lineage of the obedient.

It has been said that what parents do in moderation, children will do in excess. Thinking about that, I pray for the grace and strength to walk in obedience to the Lord so that my children and grandchildren will do so as well. What better legacy to leave than one that points others to the love of Jesus and the blessing of walking in step with His Spirit!

Keep Walking, Diane

Twirling Skirts

Competition... rivalry between two or more persons or groups for an object desired in common, usually resulting in a victor and a loser but not necessarily involving the destruction of the latter.


As I was talking to a group of high school girls recently, I heard a really great story.  Two of the girls were telling me how they had known each other for years and had grown up in church together.  They both giggled as they shared with me the beginnings of their friendship.  You see, it had not always been as jovial as it was on this night.  Their relationship began with a competition as to whose dress would flare the most while twirling at church on Sunday morning.  As the story went, the twirl effect got magnified every week as each one wanted to have the "twirliest" dress.  We laughed and had a wonderful time with the story and how they were now the best of friends once that silly competition subsided.  As I listened and laughed, my heart also broke.  My heart broke because of all of the women who I have known and do know who are unable to get off the competition highway and stroll down the sidewalk of friendship and encouragement.  You and I alike see these women every day.  She is in our churches, in our schools, in our gyms, in our grocery stores and even in our own homes. Unfortunately, on many days, she is in the mirror looking back at us.    


This topic is especially heavy on my heart today as I consider the many women I see day in and day out who are competing in a "Best Christian Mom" contest that no one is even holding.  There are many a contest in this "competition" that these women think that they are in.  These contests range anywhere from how many meals she cooks at home to how many hours she volunteers.  The contest that is most troubling to me is the contest as to who is doing "the right thing" in educating her children.  As I have shared before, I have had the amazing opportunity to home school my children as well as put them in public school for their high school years.  Let me not forget, there was a two year stint of Christian school for one of my children as well.  Because of these experiences and my role as a pastor's wife, I am especially keen to this "best educator" contest that sets women on the unhealthy highway of competition that is robbing them of great friendship opportunities.


This highway of competition runs both ways.  One set of mothers believes they deserve to win the title of "Best Christian Mom" because their kids are protected from the world while another set of  mothers expects to win the title because their children are being a "light in the world" where others fear to go.  My dear friends, this competition is hurting Christian women and the testimony of God's church and we need to put it away.  If we look at the true calling that God has put on our lives as mothers, it is to make disciples.  We are to love and train our children in the ways of the Lord.  How this is lived out is totally individual.  The beautiful thing about being in Christ is that we live by grace exercising the wisdom that the Lord so freely gives to those who ask.  This frees every mother to "do her own thing" as the Lord leads.  I cannot tell you all of the reasons why women choose the education they do for their children, but what I can tell you is that in my 16 years of full time ministry and my 12 years of home schooling, I have never met a mother that did not believe that what she was doing was what God had called her to do.  This "Best Christian Mom" contest needs to be put away so that all Christian moms can encourage one another as we build up our children to play on the same team for the Kingdom of God.  


If you look back up to the definition of competition at the start of this blog you will see that in a competition there is a winner and a loser.  My dear friends, we should not long that any woman be a loser.  I especially like the end of that definition: "but not necessarily involving the destruction" of the loser.  We would all say the same thing, but in reality, we are causing destruction for the testimony of God's love and grace when we live in this competition.  As I read scripture, we are to spur one another on toward love and goods deeds and to not grow weary in doing good, especially to those in the family of God. 


Let me encourage you today to get off of the super highway of competition and enjoy the amazing joy of strolling along the sidewalk of friendship with other women.  No matter how big and beautiful our twirling skirts may be, they will never measure up to the joy of friendship.


Walking in His Grace,
Diane

Finally!

After much encouragement from my husband, I am embarking on this not so new world of blogging.  I have pondered as to why he has encouraged me to blog and I would love to think that it is because of the vast resources of great wisdom and entertainment I have to offer but the reality most likely revolves around the hope that if I get all of my thoughts out on my blog he will get to sleep a bit earlier every night.  He also may just want me to quit waking up every other day or so with another post he should put on his blog.

In reality, he knows that I dream of one day writing "for real" and knows that this is a good spring board for me.  We have been married for twenty years and I am sure that he has heard at least once a month in those twenty years about a new book, magazine article or op-ed that I am going to write and wants me to "just do it."

Funny thing...the main reason I have not started this blog is because I had no idea what to name it and even fewer ideas about how it should look.  You would think my longing to write would include such simple creativity but it does not.  By way of introducing myself, I will share with you some of the suggested titles:

Mrs. Pastor's Wife-Yes, I am the wife of a pastor and have been for 16 years.
Diane's Delights-This was suggested so that I would share recipes as well for I do love to cook and bake.
The Recovering Home Schooler-I home schooled my three children up through 8th grade and shoved them off to "real" school for the joys of public high school. (this could also say "recovering control freak" because we all know that home school moms might have a bit of a control issue)
Diane's Door Buster-This name was given by my 16 year old son with the explanation that when I "go off" I just break down all of the barriers and tell it like it is.
Here Again?-This was my own thought as I realize that when raising kids you often say to yourself "this again" and when you move to a new place you say things like "here too?" and when the Lord takes you to a new ministry you say "not again and here too?"

Truth is, I am starting this blog because I am a happily married mother of three teenagers who loves to talk, read, teach, encourage, and maybe share an opinion or two.  So, if you have received an invite I somehow think you are connected to my life and might want to hear an opinion or two or some encouragement or some strange thing that has happened in our crazy life that might make you laugh.  Catch you again soon!

Walking in His Amazing Grace,
Diane